Dear Depressed Stay at Home Mom:

I know that on those darkest days, you feel utterly and completely alone.

I am here to tell you: you are NOT alone.

There are so many of us out there feeling exactly how you feel.

Dear depressed stay at home mom, I know you feel so alone! But I am here to tell you that you are not alone!

Dear Depressed Stay at Home Mom:

When your alarm goes off and the first thing you want to do is cry, because you are just not sure how you are going to make it through the day. Not sure how you are going to be able to handle another unexplained tantrum thrown by your two year old. Or how you will be able to convince your four old to eat a healthy breakfast before preschool.

I know how it feels to be annoyed by your kids when all they want to do is play with you. I know that guilt you feel when you are annoyed by them.

I know that guilt you feel because you can’t just be the happy mommy they deserve. The mommy that used to love to lay around and play all day with your babies. The mommy that used to do something creative with them everyday.

Instead, you are the mommy that tries to figure out how to keep them busy so you can escape to your room. You let them play on their tablets or video games for hours on end, just so you don’t have to entertain them.

You are the mommy that gets upset over little things they do, like spilling their apple sauce. Or have a ‘mommy fit’ when your four year old wont leave his sister alone, because you just cant deal with her screaming anymore.

 

Dear Depressed Stay at Home Mom:

You lay in bed at night so sad that the day is already over and you didn’t spend one minute of alone time with either kid. You beat yourself up for not taking them to the park to run out some of their energy or letting them run in the sprinklers. You just didn’t have the energy and that’s not their fault.

You also lay in bed feeling guilty, because you didn’t get anything done around the house today. There are piles of dirty (and clean) laundry waiting to be handled. Your room is an utter disaster. The kids toys are everywhere. Nothing is in its place.

I know that when you go to bed at night, you tell your self you are going to have a good day tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and when its not a good day, you become even sadder. You so bad want to have a good day.

 

Dear Depressed Stay at Home Mom:

I also know that not every day is a bad day!

Some mornings you wake up happy and ready to take on the day. Those days are your glimmer of hope. Its a reminder that you wont always feel that way. One day you will be better.

And momma, you will be better.

One day you will wake up and say “No more! I am taking action. I refuse to be a victim of depression any more!”

My only hope for you is that you don’t take as long as I did.

Reach out! Talk your significant other, your best friend, your mom, or even me! And please call your doctor. They can help you in so many ways, much more than just prescribing you a little pill. And if you do need that little pill, don’t be ashamed. I’m not. I’m proud of myself for taking action!

You can and you will get better.

There are brighter days ahead.

Keep your head up, pay attention to the little things and start taking care of yourself!

And do not forget, you are not alone.

XoXo

PS. I truly meant what I said when I said to reach out to me! If you need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me using the contact me page. You can also email me directly at memyselfandmommy2@gmail.com

Hey depressed mommy, now you can sign up to receive my top three tips to starting your day happy, even when you’re depressed. (Plus a free printable cheat sheet!) This info will not be found any where else and you can learn more here. Use the form below!

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36 thoughts on “Dear Depressed Stay at Home Mom: You are NOT alone.”

  1. Very wise words, Sam. I can’t really relate to the struggles of motherhood but I know how it feels to deal with clinical depression. I’m proud of you for being proactive about taking control of your mental health, and for being brave enough to speak out about your experiences. What you’re doing with this blog is so important to help end the stigma that prevents people from getting the treatment they need. Keep fighting the good fight, Momma!! 👍🏻

  2. Oh my gosh, I got chills reading this! So great to destigmatize depression and just mommy burn out in general, even if it’s not a clinical problem. I have good days and bad days, good moments and bad moments, but as long as the good out weigh the bad, I think I’m doing ok. But it’s helpful to hear that we’re not alone and help is out there if it gets worse. Thanks!

  3. I can definitely see myself at points in this situation,but I’ve had some major changes in my life in the past year and a half. Seems like things are better now, since situation is better.

  4. This really hit home. I was feeling crummy about myself earlier today because I had a dr appointment, in which we talked about my medication. It’s been almost a year since I started taking it and I felt like a failure for still needing it—or maybe worse, for being afraid of what would happen if I still need it and I went off it.

    So thank you for showing that step in a different light: Doing what I need to do to be more like myself and more like the mom I want to be.

  5. Your words are encouraging and it’s good to know I’m not the only one that goes through this, but it is so hard to pull myself out of this. I have a 10 year old an almost 2 year old and an 8 month old. I feel so guilty for not being the fun mom I used to be before the babies were born. I always wanted to be a sahm with lots of kids, but now I just want to run away. My anger is getting out of control and sadness just follows. I have lost my dreams and am no longer my own person. People always tell me just take some time for yourself… that is so much easier said then done. My husband works all night and sleeps all day and gets irritated when the kids are loud or when I just want to go to the grocery store by myself. No one wants to take both my babies at the same time. It’s too much. And it is. I don’t blame them. People say I’m good at it. I’m not, I just have to do it. I stare at nothing and zone out. I can’t have adult conversations anymore. I feel awkward. When my kids wake up I cringe. I apologize constantly for my behavior. I wish I was more like my own mother with dinner on the table every night instead of telling my 10 year old to just find something and eat it. My husband doesn’t get it. I open up and he thinks I’m just whining because he would love to stay at home and not work all night. I get it… I get it all. I have no will power to change. Every time I say I do it takes too much energy to actually do it. This is life right?

    1. Landi, I apologize for just now getting back to your comment. I have had a couple of rough months and I am Just now getting back in front of my computer. I just really need you to know that reading your words hit home with me. Almost as if I were writing them my self. Please know you are truly not alone! Thank you for your comment, I really needed it tonight!

      XOXO, Samantha

      1. I was a little embarrassed after I posted this thinking people would just tell me to go get help and fear for my children’s safety lol. I’m glad that I really am not the only one. Its awesome to have a place to come and reach out to women who are in the same boat. Thank you.

        1. Of course you are not alone! And I remember that feeling of embarrassment, but guess what?! There is nothing to be embarrassed about! You got this momma!

        2. I am word for word how you described your situation. I would have even felt the same way after posting what is going on. I completely understand how you feel. I have literally never heard a single person say any of this openly, so I thank you all for being brave enough to talk about your feelings. It makes me feel like I’m not the only person in the world feeling this way. The worst part for me is the extreme guilt. I beat myself up so badly, and when I feel guilty I respond by not letting myself have even a little happiness and if I do I feel guilty for that! My anger shows at times, but the anger is always because of my frustration with myself. I also hate that I end up apologizing so much for not being present or fun. I know apologies are worthless if you keep having to give them for the same reasons. It’s really tough and that’s putting it lightly! I’ve tried to talk to people. My husband is so sweet, but he tends to make the situation worse by justifying everything I do wrong. I can’t really talk to anyone else, because they look at you like you’re a bad person or they just act like it’s not a big deal. Even when some people try to help it’s hard if they can’t really relate to what is going on with you. I am by no means a perfect mom, but I love my kids more than anything in this world, so I use that to get me through and keep trying. Thanks again for sharing!

          1. Whitney, that mom guilt is something fierce! It can hit you like a ton of bricks! But, please remember you cant take care of everyone else if you aren’t taking care of your self! Thank you for sharing with us!

    2. I was drawn to your post, I feel like we’re the same person. Going to the grocery store alone would be like a vacation, its sad isn’t it lol. My husband thinks I’m whining too and says he’d love to stay home all day (and do nothing) too….. I left him with the younger one of the two boys under two and he called me within half an hour asking when i’d be home. It sounds horrible but its nice to see someone feels like I do to the tee. I used to think of all these pictures id take of my kids and all the activites we’d have all day to do then still have energy after the kids are in bed to sit and crochet that blanket that I wanted to have finished for my oldest ones birthday 5 months ago. Sometimes I feel like I set myself up for failure then when it doesn’t work out I get deeper in why even try feelings. I’m happy we have mommy boards like these that talk about the realness and not just look at my perfectly planned life with all the sensory products I made my child today while making a dinner consisting of the four food groups that using my well thought up tactics my two year old gobbles down and asks for seconds. This entire article made my day

      1. Kaci! Two boys under two?! Your hands are sure full! Thank you for connecting and sharing with me. It really is a good feeling to know we are not alone, even if that is a little sucky. Keep you head up babe, you are you doing the best that you can!

  6. You may have crawled into my brain and spoken for me through this post. It took me months to even *begin* to forgive myself for barely wanting to spend time my children in the hospital. One day, I cancelled at the last minute a mom and baby massage class that I had been wanting to go to because I couldn’t stop crying that day. This was the wake-up call I needed to make an appointment with my doctor. I knew it would take me a few weeks to *actually* feel better from the new meds but something inside me lifted a bit simply from making the proactive step to help myself.

    Thank you for these words that should help so many.

    #momsterslink

    1. The best part about running this blog is connecting with other mom’s who can relate. Thank you for your kind words!

  7. I just cried reading this, thank you for putting into words just what I needed to hear.

    One day it will be better. Someday.

    1. Thank you for reading! It WILL get better, but you gotta put in the work. Keep your head up, you are not alone in this!

  8. Hey Girl
    Thank you soooo much you took the words out of my mouth. I’ve got a lot going on I have two girls 5 an 3 a step son that 16 a step daughter 19 who has a 2 yr old so I’m a grandmother and a step son who is 21
    I’m a stay at home mom my husband has been out of work since march BC he has lost feeling and movement in both hands they are broke out with infection he doesn’t have insurance. He been Dr a lot they dont know what it is and think it a bone infection or bone disease he need go to hand specialist he just applied for disability to try get insurance to figure out what going on so I’m having g to do everything for him I don’t mind I love him he’s a great dad an husband.He doesn’t understand what I’m going through an that’s OK. After reading this I’m going to call an make a appt to go to my Dr its been a while.on top of everything else going through last weekend a drunk driving drove into our house an our only vehicle.the house have thousands in damage an our vehicle is totaled so the transportation stress has began. Dr appts grocery store etc. I’m blessed my family did not get hurt thank the lord an I keep telling my self this shall pass too but my house is not getting cleaned I’m yelling more like I said u took the words out of my mouth I cried reading this.I will keep my head up an make a appt to get help for depression thank u soo. Much lady bug!

    1. Caril, thank you for sharing with me! I am so sorry to hear about your husbands health problems,my husband deals with some major health problems, so I can relate. I am also sorry to hear about the accident involving your home. Life can be so hard sometimes. Keep the positive attitude going and keep counting your blessings!
      xoxo
      Samantha

  9. Those days are well over for me, but I certainly remember how hard it is to raise a family. It would have been good back then to know that I was not alone, not the only one struggling to cope. I am glad for the good things the internet provides with help and advice.

    Kathleen
    Bloggers Pit Stop

  10. This is a great post! I think it’s really hard when you are in that position as you do feel completely isolated and alone. I’ve been there myself. This is partly why I love blogging so much because you realise how many people have felt as you have.

    Sending lots of love to all the mummies out there!

    Thanks for sharing and linking up to #AnythingGoes

    Janet 🙂

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