Why are stay at home mom’s depressed? Because, we are fucking lonely, that’s why.
I’m sorry for the curse word, but that sentence didn’t sound right with out it.
When I first started blogging about my depression I had a good amount of support from my family and friends. But, there were a few who asked me the stupid, age old question of why I was depressed.
My original, and much more polite, response was that sometimes we don’t need a reason to be depressed. This is a true statement, it’s called clinical depression. There is no why, or what, or how. Our head and body’s are just a bit wacked and we have depression.
But, to answer the question Why are Stay at Home Mom’s depressed? For a lot of stay at home moms, it is situational.
Meaning that, we are depressed because we are stuck at home day in and day out with kids. Kids! Loud, messy, sneaky, and dirty kids.
I do know that everyone lives different lives and have different struggles. And I also know that there are plenty of women out there that stay home with their kids and live happy and healthy lives.
I’m not one of them and chances are, based on the fact that you are reading this post, you aren’t either.
Your day is probably a lot like mine.
You get up and get the kid(s) ready for school. Make sure they are dressed, fed and clean. You make sure they have everything they need. You then come home from dropping one kid off at school to make sure your other kid has had breakfast and looks half way decent for the day. After that you start tackling your to do list. Cleaning, laundry, etc.
But I bet you forgot to feed yourself. Or you are still wearing the same yoga pants and tank top from yesterday.
Here’s the thing, I love my kids and I absolutely love being home with them. But when you are spending so much time focusing on everyone else, everything else and have only kids to talk to all day, it’s not hard to become depressed.
My days are filled with wiping noses, butt’s and floors. All. Day. Long. It becomes very lonely. And loneliness, mixed with not taking good of myself, eventually turns into depression.
There is only so much a spouse can do to help that loneliness. My husband works very weird hours, based on when he’s sick and when he isn’t. He does his best to help with giving me an ear to unload my crazy day. But, that doesn’t change the fact I spend most of my time surrounded by kids, and only kids.
“If being home with your kids makes you depressed, why don’t you go back to work?”
For me, it’s not that simple. Do you know how much quality child care costs? We couldn’t afford that if I went back to work, out of the home.
But, the truth is I want to be home with my kids.
Being a stay at home mom doesn’t make me depressed, it is the loneliness and lack of adult interaction that is a big factor in my depression.
Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of other factors to my depression. The loneliness is just what I am talking about today.
There are a ton of ways to help the stay at home mom with the depression. Or if you are a new stay at home mom, there are ways to prepare yourself to avoid the stay at home mom depression. Play dates, self care, mommy time, etc. Just to name a few.
If you are a stay at home mom who might be dealing with depression, I have a few other post’s you might like. Check out Dear Depressed Stay at Home Mom, You are Not Alone or Nine Goals to Set for the Depressed Stay at Home Mom.
So while there are always a lot of different factors to why are stay at home mom’s depressed, I can confidently say that loneliness is a big one.
It certainly is for me.
PS: You should check out my mom depression Pinterest board. Ton of information, tips and tricks, and resources.